I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
