Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize