Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
