she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i believe in u and ur pee
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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