Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
