yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
