Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
