um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
