if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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