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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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