Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
