we're blogging at a bar
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
