Dual....:-)
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
