I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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