I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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