with your own penis?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
