I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
