I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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