Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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