Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize