wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
