So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
