maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
