she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize