She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
there is glitter all over my balls
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