we have pet lesbian snakes
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
