Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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