whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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