the new term for farting is butt boxing.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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