oh god the rape fog is back!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
