Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
