the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Success! We fucked roommates!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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