whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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