his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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