I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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