I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hippo gnu deer
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
