physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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