I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
