I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
