I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
they're like a gay fantastic four
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
