Your mouth is God's brothel.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
