She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
