...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize