i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
