I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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