I feel like abortions should bother me more
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize