Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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