Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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