I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I believe in your delicious
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
