i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize