VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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