Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My feet surprised me
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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