also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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