How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
