if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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