dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
