drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
