im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
