Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just forgot I was standing up.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
