Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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