Pappa wants mamma naked
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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