so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
