Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
