I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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