We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
