Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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