So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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